Post
by Zhao Xun » Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:26 pm
Finally back at the hideout after such an arduous field, I knew I couldn't take any downtime quite yet. The first thing I did was minor, but important to me nonetheless. I closed my eyes and focused for a moment, then reopened them, and I was wearing the new garments I had envisioned for myself. Satisfied with the color shift and removal of my cloak, I moved on to the next thing I had to deal with. I had people to talk to, to find out what exactly had happened back there. Several key members had voted to spare the devil... and yet it only took two members, nowhere near the majority, to end his life. They had to have a reason... but what?
I decided to talk to Senna, since it had been her idea originally it seemed, whereas Hacorie had merely joined in. Always go straight for the source. I searched the hideout for the Long Arm and located her in the central room, apparently quite distracted in the corner. I approached her slowly, but with a decent amount of noise so as not to startle her.
"Senna? Can I talk to you?"
The Long Arm looked up. "Yes?"
I opened my mouth to ask my question, but then quickly thought about the situation. With most of the Freedom Fighters most likely angry at Senna, perhaps it would be better to talk to her in private. "Why don't we go somewhere else, somewhere where people aren't going to be coming in and out?"
She chuckled and got to her feet. "There a place like that in here? Lead on."
I smiled a little as she chuckled, happy to see she apparently wasn't too bent out of shape from Zan's tirade. "Let's head for the Chaos Gate area. Not likely for many people to be heading out while Nighthand is calling a meeting." I left the room and moved towards the new location with the Long Arm close behind.
"So what're we here about?" she asked.
I shifted uncomfortably now that I had begun this conversation, but I took a slow breath and moved on, hoping she wouldn't end up furious for some reason. "I figure you must have had a reason for what you did... I was just wondering if you were willing to share it."
She closed her eyes a moment in thought, then said, "Do you know the term 'teaching to the test'?"
I did, but I couldn't understand her reference at all. Was she using another meaning? I nodded to her. "That would be when a teacher teaches a class exactly what is needed to pass some sort of exam, instead of simply teaching the material and helping everyone understand, right? Or do we define it differently?"
"No, that's it,” she replied. “Did you know if students who were taught like that were confronted with a type of question they hadn't seen before, even if it was material they knew, they were momentarily stumped? They lost crucial time, especially on timed tests."
I pondered her words for but a moment before responding. "It makes sense that that would happen, yes."
She nodded. "Just so. If we'd gotten that information, it would have been like that. We would have expected things to be a certain way. And if that turned out wrong, we would have been caught flat-footed. And a second could cost us. Not to mention it wasn't a teacher giving the information, it was the enemy. Better to go in suspecting everything."
I nodded again, slowly. "That makes sense, yes. Any information can be suspect. However... it didn't bother you to kill a helpless being?"
She shrugged. "It was only helpless because Marionette intended it to be. We were meant to feel bad and spare it. As such, it was just an extension of Marionette itself."
"I suppose you're right about that, as well...." I trailed off, thinking about her words. Just an extension of Marionette? Wasn't I just an extension of Rikama? Wait... I remember everything! I was shocked for a moment, but regardless of my new knowledge, or rather old knowledge remembered, I had to continue my conversation with Senna. I took a breath and moved on. "Well, I still think the information could have been valuable,” I said, “but you had your reasons. An impulsive decision, but it could well turn out to have been the right one."
She shrugged. "It's made, either way. Thanks for taking it up with me though. Not assuming."
"You know what happens when you make an assumption. It makes an ass out of you... and the ump shuns us." I grinned at the Long Arm, happy that she had been willing to discuss things so civilly.
She laughed. "Unfortunately, we all have to make assumptions. We just check the ones we can, neh?"
"Eh." My mind wandered back to what she had said before, about the Devil being just an extension, but I quickly brushed it from my mind a second time. "You can go back to doing whatever had you so absorbed, I suppose. Sorry for bothering you." I was no longer grinning.
"Oh... alright then. See you around." She offered a brief wave.
I waved in return, not wanting to offend the long arm. "Oh, by the way, feel free to ask me if you ever need my help. It's what I'm here for." I smiled again, forgetting my troubles for a moment while I recognized my new purpose. "Let's head back together, shall we? Always nice to have a friend."
She nodded as we started walking. "Likewise. Good to meet-meet you."
"Heh. Agreed."
We walked together into the central room, and there I spotted another I wanted a word with, but a word of a different sort. Sekai was there, apparently preoccupied with something, but I had to talk to her. I walked towards her and spoke. "Hey, Sekai... I'd like to thank you."
I seemed to snap her back from something, as she blinked in surprise and looked up in confusion. "F-for what? I didn't... I mean, there was nothing in particular worth giving me your gratitude over."
I smiled warmly, trying to help her relax, and I hoped the fact that I had taken to no longer wearing my cloak would help as well. Such clothes that completely hid one's body could be, well, disconcerting. "You may not have realized it, but you did. You reminded me of who I am, of my past, of memories forgotten. You've given me back everything I've lost, all because... you gave me someone to help."
"Someone to help?" She didn't seem to know what I was talking about, tilting her head a little to one side and frowning a bit before shaking her head and giving a small but exhausted smile. "You should take care of yourself first; it isn't fun being injured and that way people won't have to worry."
Seeing her smile, I relaxed, remembering that the last time we had spoken she had been too afraid to do so. It was a good sign. "Taking care of others is what made me who I am, I'd just forgotten everything I'd gone through... which took away my identity." I thought about what I now remembered, what she had given back to me, and despite the pain of some of those memories, I was glad to have them. And also, I now knew I didn't have to dwell on them.
Her eyes darkened a bit at my words, as if she had some sort of connection with them, though I couldn't be sure. "If... if by some odd chance that speaking with one such as myself has helped you find a purpose..." She hesitated for a moment, as if searching for the right words, then continued. "Then... I wish you the best in your discovery."
I chuckled, and blinked his eyes, now a far darker shade of blue than before, nearly black. "Sekai, if you ever need my help, I'll give it to you. And if you ever want to know about my past, well... you gave it back to me. I'll be happy to tell you anything." And I truly meant it. The only two who I recalled telling anything to were Dien and Canti, and only Dien really knew everything. But if she ever decided it mattered, she could know of it.
"As generous... as your offer is, I must decline but, thank you anyway." She gave another small smile and gave a bow of thanks to show her gratitude. I chuckled, thinking about how it was amusing that she was the one who deserved thanks, but kept trying to turn it around and thank me for something.
"Well, there may be a time where you do need my help, and I do hope you'll reconsider my offer then. I'll see you."
"Please take care," she replied softly, and then retreated back to whatever thoughts she had been harboring before. I stood there for a moment, worried about her, but decided to let her deal with it herself. I had offered my help, and she had declined. I had to respect that. Hopefully she would ask for my help if she needed it later, but for now, I had one more person to speak to.
I headed for the meeting room, assuming that he would be there, trying to help out. And indeed he was there, seated in one of the many chairs in the room. I approached him and began to speak, a hint of fear in my voice. "Zan, I just need to say something. About Senna."
Still mulling over the whereabouts of the Shade, idle fingers continuing their movements over the closed metal eye on his wrist, my approach was met with a loft of his gaze and a look of instant boredom at the mention of the Long Arm's name. He gave no words, simply stared, waiting for me to proceed. I took a deep breath, not relishing the thought of possibly angering the werewolf, but I was determined to press on. "Well, I still don't agree with her,” I began, hoping my agreement with him would help to placate him some, “but... the reasons she had for doing what she did are solid enough. Just... don't make her an outsider, alright? She's not a bad person, and what's done is done. I haven't spoken to Hacorie, but same goes for him." I shifted my weight back and forth nervously, hoping Zan would at least see my point, even if he didn't think they were worthy of the tolerance I was preaching.
Zan's opinion of them seemed unwavering even as I pleaded for them, his face as passive and empty as Senna's had been when the werewolf had let her have the words he believed she deserved. Rather than offer up his own case, his own beliefs in the matter, the werewolf continued to stare at me, not a word passing between his lips. It seemed as though he didn't want to discuss the matter further, not unless I was prepared to take his side. I took a step back, fearing for at least my limbs if not my life, but I wasn't going to give up quite yet. Senna had only done exactly what she had believed was right, which was what the rest of us had been doing. She merely believed in something different. "I just... I just wanted to try. Alright? It doesn't do well to have... well, hatred between our members. We're all stuck here together, right...?" I trailed off, holding my ground, hoping Zan would at least say something to me.
There were a few seconds of tense silence before Zan replied, sounding exasperated. "I don't hate them."
I sighed in relief. Hearing those words was like... well, I had nothing to compare it to, but they were certainly wonderful things. "Just furious still, then? I guess... well, Rikama would have been too...." My eyes snapped up, realizing what I had just said. Have I told Zan? I don't think so... oh well. Too late. I quickly recomposed myself before continuing. "All I meant was... I can understand why you're angry. I was too, but... like I said, she had a reason for it." I looked at Zan again, and the fear started to come back a little. "Should I leave now, to prevent you taking off some of my skin?"
Zan gave a short laugh and smirked at me. "Whatever, kid."
That was definitely my cue to exit. Well, I tried. I moved to another chair about halfway down the table and sat, thinking about what had just passed between myself and Zan.
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(OOC: Now using bolded purple for Zhao. Needed a permanent color for him :D)
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